Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
In a world where disturbed wizards have taken owls and bears and combine them into one hilariously deadly beast , which venturer expect the world to watch over any rules?Dungeons & Dragonshas had many decade , many edition , and many spin - offs like Pathfinder to fall all manner of loveable quirks . Loveable , exploitable quirks .
Players and DMs everywhere have added to this mix with homebrewed contentedness often as mentally ill as an alchemist ’s shop . And as explosively entertaining .
The point of a dice - base organization likeD&Dis that it snarf the universe to make the job of the players and the DM more manageable . Sometimes , though , that result in a trade off between narratively interesting or fun and logically coherent . Fireball for certain roasts the enemy pirates , but it all depends on the style of your group whether that means the ship go up in smoke too .
From the ecosystems of dungeons to the speed of a swallow carrying a cocoanut , the strangest details can become points of contention between players and decimeter , actor and players , or everyone and the rules as written .
Because we love the secret plan , we love its flaws that allow us to do the wild stuff and nonsense that keeps us back and rolling , even when we crit fail or rock music pass and everyone cash in one’s chips .
So here are20 memes to make you laugh at the insanity that is D&D.
20. WITH A GOOD STEALTH ROLL ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
While many of the high CR , campaign big bad foeman are mammoth , extremely advanced beings like dragons or colossal giant or demon Divine . Those guys are heavy to sneak up on and take down , but when you ’ve got a smaller , more humanoid target then it ’s a dissimilar story .
A good stealth roll on a well - optimized scallywag has been the end of many a nefarious NPC before they can even get through their soliloquy . It almost make you question how villains outlive being mid - tier baddies long enough to get their program in motion . peculiarly in 5e , with the critical hit allowed by the assassinate Rogue power . The truth is that sneak blast is the varlet ’s express role in the group aside from dealing with ambush and locked threshold . But the harebrained first - round harm they can output really can result the rest of the political party feeling a piece like extra .
fortunately , this one is n’t an insurmountable problem for a well - organise villain . This in reality explain the paranoid dungeon - homes of most villain - they ’re trying to tire the rogue out before the final showdown ! In seriousness , a well - prepare scoundrel must have considered that in every four - person company there ’s some sneaky bravo whose daggers have their name on them .
19. EVIL JELLO
Dungeons and Dragonshas inspired some of the dandy monsters of pop - civilisation . Some are quite silly to the auricle , like the owlbear , while still being a bully foe for a low layer party . The expectant foes , like the demonic entity Demogorgon , have been include in shows likeStranger Things .
It makes sense - a keep is only as wild as the wight that fill it . We all love roleplay , and we have a go at it the puzzles and traps , but so often it is the big moments that come from opposition with grievous monsters that become stories of tabletop legend .
Now if there ’s one monster that is both a classic , a story - thread maker , and an entity that make water no signified , it ’s the jellylike regular hexahedron .
It is a sentient ooze in the form of a jiggly cube that engulfs and consume whatever living things it can . A giant Jell-O cube that just globs around dungeons disolving constitutive matter ( except for the woods and leather get out behind inside it ) raises many question . Why does it stay in the physique of a cube ? Is it because dungeon corridors tend to be built at right angles ? Does that intend there may be gelatinous parallelograms out there ? Where do they come from ?
18. CHARACTERS ARE GENRE BLIND
You raid the dungeon and get back out with all that angelic loot . Gold and XP and magic items all round . We all know what comes next : essay to figure out what all the magic detail are . More specifically , whether any of them are malevolent or cursed , since that ’s precisely the sort of thing a baddie would keep on them at all times .
The party ’s caster are n’t always run to have identify on their enchantment lean , so arcana roll or obtuse fortune are often what reveal the nature of magic items . Nobody want to take a chance obtuse chance , which intend a lot hinges on those rolls to key a wizardly item . Dungeon Masters are well aware of this , and there is a terrific sense of satisfaction in distinguish the grouping that they cognize there is " some " magic aura around an object they already suspect was witching . Bonus if the detail ’s verbal description just screams " cursed object " .
It ’s a double bind that we ca n’t really see . But in a world where curses and evil magic , or chaotic , wild and unpredictable magic is humdrum , you ’d conceive the characters in the game could share some of the players ' scepticism . Perhaps magic item effects are toD&DPCs as User Licence Agreements are to us : we know they ’re crucial but nobody really understands them and pays them any attending .
17. THE DM IS A FALLIBLE GOD
The Dungeon Master ’s role is like a mixing between an all - knowing narrator and an all - powerful God . They set the tone for the game , command the NPCs , balance the encounters , and scheme style to almost pour down the party on a regular basis . Their word is usually law , even though rules - lawyer players will always prove their luck . For every DM out there , the job is a mix of intricate planning and fantabulous temporary expedient .
Every so often , though , the illusion of being an omniscient god breaks and the DM begin it wrong . Whether it be a faux pas of the tongue , or of the mind , crucial mistake can turn the world on its oral sex . These mistakes sometimes can be childlike miscalculation of how the players will use their boodle , establish the players a feeding bottle of infinite urine and a bag of infinite holding allow them to revivify a biblical flood for example . Other time it can be leave those all-important little details like exceptional electrical resistance for monsters .
It happen even to the best of DM . It happens to histrion too , who seem to always forget their bonuses and incisively how their spell influence , or handily exactly what actions it get to swap weapons in combat . We all make mistakes . But only one person around the table has the voltage for a mistake to turn the earthly concern upside down .
16. BARDIC PERFORMANCE
The great300fight scenes just would n’t be the same without the awe-inspiring heavy guitar soundtrack from Tyler Bates . It would be expectant to have a protagonist around to supply the staring soundtrack to your best moment . That ’s why they made bard , is n’t it ? Now 5th edition has bards working a slight other than from their definitive counterparts . Back in the day , the party bard would keep up a performance to buff the party ’s skills . A lute solo to hike onset rolls , or a transverse flute trill to patronize that four flush check . It was what made bards useful to the whole party all at once .
That promote an interesting doubtfulness about stealth . bard can make a interference to improve the company ’s ability to keep quiet , as long as they keep play the whole time ?
Well , in effect trust the bard has practised some rare whispering sing techniques at bardic college . It does n’t make a lot of sense that the striking music supplied by your buddies can give you that much of an boundary , nevermind undermine the enemy to such a degree . Then again , of all the things the other classes get to just do ( punching like your hand are sorcerous or turning into a bear ) , we ’ll permit this lantern slide .
15. ALL THAT PLANNING, GONE
This is one of those thing that is impossible to explain to someone who does n’t play tabletop RPGs and even some player who never DM can shinny to apprise it . Being a DM take up a plenty of strong work and planning . You require to create a rich and engaging world , with colorful and memorable Nonproliferation Center , and hatful of tantalizing plothooks . Then you have your villains and monsters , and traps to gainsay your participant .
All the provision in the reality can add up crashing down with the roller of some die . From a musician ’s favorable vital striking bringing the villain down in a single attack to the players endlessly fail of the essence checks , to the DM ’s bad incubus . Nothing is worse than creating a terrifying scoundrel or impressive friend , building up their repute among the histrion , and then in the end break them out in combat only to have them whiff every attack they make .
Which circles back to the point that this is something which makes no sense to someone who is n’t invest in the hothead fun of aD&Dgame . It can be difficult to explicate how the chaos the die can make is what reverse it from an interactive novel into a in truth wonderful biz .
14. SO MANY CHARACTER IDEAS, SO FEW GAMES
The first time a raw player opens the Player ’s Handbook , they ’re assemble with an utter wealthiness of choices . From Fifth Edition ’s built - in pick within the classes , to the sempiternal customization of Pathfinder ’s archetypes , just choosing a course of instruction can be tough . Then add in prefer your race , stats , science , and feats . It really is potential to work up an myriad set of characters , but a recollective campaign means committing to a single character for a farseeing prison term .
Then tot up in the probability to see other lineament classes and races in action , it ’s well-situated to start preplanning character for your next campaign well in rise . Thus begins the slippery gradient of coming up with endless fictitious character ideas , rolling them up and drop a line out backstories only to desolate them for the next impertinent concept .
If you are the DM , this can be even forged . While you may trot out all your best ideas as NPCs to aid your character , it is n’t quite the same as playing them as the main characters of their own movement . It really clear no common sense how habit-forming the character creation process can become , specially as it is very meter consume and numeral gruelling . particularly when we all have it off these type will never see the light of day .
13. THE WIZARD CURVE
A thaumaturgist at level one is a spongy little bookworm that ca n’t even memorize more than a handful of spells . In Fifth Edition they can only cast a few turn and then if they bewitch their breathing spell , they can throw a few more . They might have quite a recollective inclination of magical spell to choose from , they can still only start with six write in their spellbooks .
Then , as if taking their cue from Neville Longbottom , they stumble their footstep and go from useless to flash firebrands with all the science they necessitate . From toss the two charming missile they can in a single fight , virtuoso become the characters who stop the plot and require everyone to help out with the math .
Not only that , but they are often as vainglorious a menace to the company as the enemy , since the radii of many turn can be perfectly monumental . We ’re looking at you ace who only prepare and cast fireball .
All classes , if build properly , have the potential to do some broken things , but even the scoundrel - killing rogues tend to specialize in killing only one thing at a sentence . Some session it feel like the rest of the party are close to Skyrim followers , just there to aid the star carry the loot back home .
12. METAGAMING & MATH
Every musician sleep with that their should be a space between what they live , approximate , and can work out from the mechanics , and what their lineament could mayhap know . break this barrier is what angry dm and players call Metagaming . To metagame turn your bard - hero multiclass into Deadpool himself , with full awareness that he ’s in a secret plan ofDungeons & Dragonsand should be guessing the AC of his enemies . It ’s the reason why the DM obliterate all their information behind a blind . Well , that and so they can hedge die bun to save their villain .
That say , it ’s unimaginable not to start working out exactly what you ought to twine to strike an enemy , or what their HP might be , or their attack bonus . It just requires a bit of numerical speed .
If a histrion can work out the chance , should n’t the fibre be capable to guess just how tough the opposition ’s defenses are ?
This is just another example of how the wayD&Dhas to simplify things down can lead to player shenanigan . This is specially rightful if you have a player who is both good at genial mathandis a min - maxing munchkin who knows just how to argue for that extra bonus or two to up their attack paradiddle .
11. COMPLEX INTERACTION, SIMPLE MECHANICS
One of the best thing about playingDungeons and Dragonsis the probability to take the sovereignty of global politics along with slaying dragons and satanic entity . Not every campaign will have political machination and intrigue - some groups do just want to foray dungeons and acquire huge amount of hoarded wealth . For those that do require a political game , there can often be quite an risible challenge .
In real life , lie and political half - truth spinning are a web of tricky challenges , reading tiny bits of dead body words and cracks in salamander faces . It is n’t always about a lie and the scrutiny of the listener . But inD&D , all of this can be coerce down into two minuscule die axial rotation , with illusion , or in older edition Bluff , and Insight or Pathfinder ’s on the nose Sense Motive skills . Sometimes that can leave to a few tense present moment , specially when two party penis are bluff out and sensing one another ’s motives . Other clip , it can lead to utter hilarity as a bald - faced lie gets swallowed by the usually suspicious company paladin .
Of naturally , one of the problems with rolling low gear on your brainwave check is that it can be very difficult not to metagame . The little suspiciousness that simply rolling creates , particularly if you fuck it was a bad one , can cling over all the rest of the interactions with that character . Dramatic irony is half the fun and , in the hands of the proper roleplayer , these situations can be hilarious .
10. MONSTROUS MYSTERIES THE DUNGEONS
A six foundation improbable man wanderer ( or should that beMan - Spider ? ) is a uncanny enough construct for a monster . A six metrical foot marvelous man wanderer that can readily speak to the players is beyond insane . D&D3.5 version gave the spider - keeping , web - spinning ettercap the ability to converse like any other humanoid creature . accord , in the late edition ofD&Dthey are ineffective to speak , leave DMs everywhere wishing for eloquent piece wanderer creature .
Ettercaps are n’t the only tool to have some unknown abilities or traditional knowledge in their Monster Manual entries . Take the flail escargot , which is a gargantuan snail with morningstars as its eye stem . Or the monodrone , the Mr. Meeseeks ofDungeons and Dragons , which is a legitimate neutral brute created with a exclusive purpose which it will immeasurably hold out . Or the intellect devourer , which is a wit with leg but no seeable way to keep that brain from being damaged or drying out . Or 3.5 edition ’s duckbunny , which is exactly what it sounds like .
Some ofD&D ’s monsters are so bizarre , or have such eccentric trait , that it inspired a coder to let a neural web have a bash makingweird monsters . It develop spectral slugs , wolfworms , and the legendary Walfablang . I do n’t fuck which piss less sensation , the names or the fact they might actually be in the next monstrosity manual .
9. BARDS ARE UNDERPOWERED EXCEPT WHEN THEY’RE OP
The stereotypical adventuring company has a fighter to gazump up damage , a rogue to hook attack the knob , a ace to control the crowds of opposition , and a churchman to keep everyone from die . That sort of covers what a party penury . And then there ’s the bard . The loveable , singing , sometimes perfectly useless bard . Especially in some of the earlier editions , where the bard had to defend their public presentation for the duration of a engagement just to give the political party a diminished bump to skills and attack peal . Add to the fact that bards are often a bit theatrical and prone to seduce anything that moves , and the grade is an easy target as the butt of any joke .
It does beg the question , though , if everyone has the encounter on lockdown , why are they all going down ?
If the fighter was doing their line , the bard would n’t have to change their bardic performance into a coronach all the time .
Fifth edition bard , though , have become quite the antonym . With vicious sendup as a cantrip that allows you to kill enemies with an vilification , who ’s express mirth now ? Bardic divine guidance can be popped onto a turn after moving and attacking or spell - cast , keeping them relevant in armed combat . This has turn them into a great class with high versatility .
8. HIT POINTS LET YOU KEEP ON COMING
A mark of useful design is that it goes unnoticed . If any part of the table top RPG has become omnipresent , even in video game , it ’s the dispatch point . From tracking a character ’s lineage into oblivion with pens and theme , to the crimson orbs and ginmill that are picture game raw material , hit full stop are everywhere .
As with a lot of mind that become true standards , if you look a little closer HP is a very unknown notion . It is n’t vindicated if it is a measurement of how healthy your character is , or how well they avoid a lethal coke , or some intermixture of the two . As you flush up , they increase too , which evoke they ca n’t be a physical tone . But describing how every blow delivered by a character is " a near miss " or " a grazing " would get erstwhile , quickly . And as long as you have even one , you ’re still in the fight . How many barbarians and fighters have gone rushing in and received a brutal crunching , but thanks to some quick healing , just get up and keep run .
To be mediocre , this is one of those necessary abstractions . game that do more specific kinds of damage trailing can get bogged down in rolling on more damage tables than are ever going to be necessary . peradventure it ’s best to stick with HP shenanigans .
7. OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING
Players of tabletop games , and video games for that affair , are very good at read the augury that a boss fight is coming . Every company has a strategist who can come up with the make bold plans that will finish off a boss in a handful of rounds ( or fail spectacularly and lead in an epic story ) . Some players endlessly work on their combination of abilities , exploit , and magic items to give them the edge in fight . Teamwork tactics develop as the party finds its regular recurrence together .
And then there ’s the out of combat challenge problem . Locked doorway when the rascal is n’t around or the most terrene of trap can on the spur of the moment travail the game to a halt . This is even more common if the party has already triggered one sand trap in a dungeon . Then every door , chest , strange statue , or empty way will be meticulously check for traps . If a snare is discover , then the party is liable to stand around arguing for ages about the best potential solution that does n’t imply throwing the halfling down the hallway to see what occur .
On the other hand , an optimized rogue can so often just demilitarise any yap with the good bun that the party forgets all about it . That is , until the rapscallion is n’t there for a session and the DM roam out a clump of new deathtraps .
6. “IT LOOKS FINE” IS SCARIER THAN A DEMILICH
The introduction of every big bad for a dungeon is definitely a scary moment . A secure decimetre can craft a scary monologue to fill the players with dread . An ominous magic point , especially if it is key to finishing the quest , can omit jaw around the board . Nothing , though , will come close to the scare player will experience when the DM open just a little too much detail about something otherwise ordinary .
A plain old statue can send a political party into a spin of perception check , insight checks , and paladins find immorality on it .
They ’re unresistant to poke it with a ten foot pole if they ’re fearless enough . Sometimes its worse finding out that the " apparently empty " way really is just that . All the role player really need is the relief of actually find out the thing that could kill them , instead of imagining the traps and fauna that theydidn’tsee .
In fact , this is part of design ism the king of the gist - grinder dungeon , Gary Gygax himself . An empty bedchamber in a dangerous environment does n’t provide the break a DM might expect it would . Just because you do it the room is secure does n’t mean the same for the players . The incertain " it seems o.k. " or " it look like an ordinary storeroom " , followed by a bit of description is a bully way to keep the players gross out out throughout the total dungeon crawl .
5. LEVEL ONE JUST MAKES NO SENSE
dispense with a thought to the hapless newbie adventurers in your run . After a few class of adventure , they ’ll be going toe - to - toe with Gods . Now , though , they have one bump off die and probably a rusty heirloom sword and 10 gold to their name . A company of four level one characters should be able to muss with a brownish bear . On their own , though , they ’re pretty vulnerable even to foe as weird as a cloud of centipede or a giant laughingstock .
To fill the quad between the low level adventurers and the more powerful and iconic opposition from the Monster Manual , GMs have to get creative to do more than have the PCs pour down giant squealer , skeleton in the closet , hob , and Wolf . Some examples are fey boggles , which live under the bed and ooze petroleum , or giant animals on the liberal , or the soupy - embodied lemure devil for a bold party .
A lot of lowly level opposition inD&DFifth Edition can deal out out a d6 of damage , which is the same as a wizard ’s hit die . Combat can swing quite perilously as a outcome and DMs who are n’t keen on kill off their party can provide some humorous or strange quests to toughen the political party up before the orcish invasion comes by .
4. ALIGNMENT CHARTS
alliance is a strange concept . On a mechanics degree , it is eldritch that a fighter can just bet at someone or something and deduce that it is evil . It beg the question how rookie nefarious entity get by . It ’s also a strange melodic theme that sure monsters and races are just inherently one coalition . An object lesson is the Drow backwash , which canonically is evil but since Drizzt popularised the rack good drow quality the subspecies has become a raw material of adventure group . sealed year have had specific alignment confinement in certain editions , causing endless debates about where a character ’s actions should fit out .
On the other hand , coalition also seems to employ so well to the strangest position . The endless alignment chart meme place upright as Testament to this fact . Alignment can be placed over superhero teams , overGame of Thronescharacters , even over SpongeBob . And this meme shows that it also applies to how you put wampum back into the traveling bag .
This meme could lead you to a long smell in the mirror , deliberate your bread alignment .
It also does show how loosely the alliance organisation can be applied to almost anything . That ’s a sign that it is both quite intuitive and almost anything can be shoehorned into fitting across the spectrum of honorable - malefic and lawful - disorderly .
3. CLASSIC DUNGEON DENIZENS ARE INSANE
Dungeons and Dragonshas some far-famed monsters that have imbue pop music culture and whose visual aspect can terrify participant . But thinking a picayune about their Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe and homes raises a stack of question about how they came to be and how dungeon ecosystem do n’t collapse under the dateless weight of a purple worm ’s appetite .
A lot of these , like the bulette ( " rock noms " ) and the mimic are handwaved in - universe as the result of mad wizards . That ’s theD&Dgo - to explanation for anything unearthly . ' A wizard did it ' can calculate for almost anything a DM does n’t have a ready explanation for . The fey , or nasty pansy , provide an account for anything not cover by " a wizard did it " , like displacer beasts .
What this shows is just how insane the underdark is . The underdark has to be a place that is weird to hoi polloi who regard throwing ball of fire and see to it giant to be everyday events . As a result , the underdark and the dungeons it is connected to are fill with things not even a commando with a pet jumbo Wisconsinite and flaming bow would be willing to believe on any other day . If that mean a mental capacity with a schnoz , then so be it .
2. THE TRUTH ABOUT DM-ING
The players and the DM are supposed to be work together to make a shared fiction , an engaging populace , and a satisfying story . More often than not though , the personal computer are liable to shake off everything and go all against what the DM has plan for . What the DM thought was a tantalizing quest will be dropped in favor of arbitrarily steal from the local populace or get a revolution in the metropolis . Sometimes it feels like there ’s no point in planning . They do say a fundamental DM attainment is improvisation .
We ca n’t only lay blame at the feet of the players , though . The paranoid ramblings of the party often give the DM some excellent estimate to tweak their story on the tent flap . The result can be a chaotic fix or a story that the musician will think the DM has been masterfully plan the entire time . They need never know that the DM made it up on the spot since they were supposed to go and do something entirely different for the session .
It is just incredible how often the players can derail the game and still have the game twist out to be entertaining . And sometimes the diversions can turn into the brilliant present moment to be shared again and again , or built into the bigger fib by a prompt - thinking DM .
1. GETTING ATTACHED TO THE BAD GUYS
Bob Ross would definitely produce the happiest little treants in the dungeon , but this meme also tells us a little about the provision process . plan a dungeon is n’t just about writing the taradiddle or fill the space for the players to search . It ’s a genuine craft that can run you into it in a direction that make no sentience to anyone else . DMs can spend hours fill in in the details of their map , only for the party to blaze out through , taking out everything , or skipping some of the DM ’s favorite content .
It is so easy to become attach to a particular dungeon and its denizens . Some magic happens that turns the ogre and the hobgoblin into friends that guard the entrance of the dragon ’s lair . Take a look attexts from koboldto see how a faceless mook can turn into a little character in the judgement of a Dungeon Master .
This approach might be a little heartbreaking for a DM if the player do n’t decide to inquire every room , or spot the trivial clues to the secret life of the keep indweller . However , it get for coherent and engaging dungeon that can really feel like an immersive place for the player to traverse .
–
